Are You A Good Girl Gone Bad?

Once a good girl's gone bad, she's gone forever? Is that right? Well according to Jay-Z in the song, “Song Cry” and pop singer, Rihanna who recently released an album entitled Good Girl Gone Bad, it is.  Can a bad experience in a relationship spoil you from being a “good girl” forever”? 

Well, any bad experience can make anyone skeptical and paranoid of this whole “love” thing. I can think of a “good girl gone bad scenario” with a guy I was seeing for awhile. Like a lot of you out there I don’t consider myself a foolish chick and despite my hard exterior, yes I too fell for someone who was all too wrong for me. He wasn’t that appreciative of anything I did for him, was extra critical and just didn’t understand me as a person. The fact that he was wrong for me softened the blow when the relationship ended, but still I came out with a somewhat bruised ego. 

I liked him, he liked me, somehow the idea of “love” was thrown in, but it never escalated to a great grand relationship, and at the end I felt like I was the one who got the raw end of the deal and all of the hurt. That situation stands out to me because afterwards I remember thinking, this is the last time I get played for a fool, from this point on I’m not being the good girl anymore!

Now when you hear “a good girl gone bad,” you usually think of the tired poor damsel who after being hurt or cheated on in a relationship decides to become some vindictive tramp that begins playing with the emotions of every man she meets afterwards. But I’m taking the phrase and spinning a whole new meaning to it. While sometimes that does happen, what should happen is after getting your life back on track you realize, “I’ve learned from the situation. I’m not naïve anymore and I’ll make better judgment calls in the future.”  

When you go through something hurtful you create a defense mechanism that makes you want to protect yourself. So while you may have been the “good girl” in the past who cared and was loyal, you may decide to re-unleash the “bad” in you and decide not to care about anyone’s feelings and do and say what you please. Only problem that I see is that you can’t walk around with baggage and bring it from place to place. Everyone has a past, but if you feel every man you meet is out to hurt or take advantage of you, you’ll never meet anyone! Paranoia ruins relationships! It is important after a bad situation, to take a breather, not invest in anything serious for awhile and date around – trust me it works out. 

While, a good girl can choose to hibernate for a little while as she copes with past experiences, the good in her will eventually resurface. Just give it a little time!

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