He Wants My Number--But I'm Not Really Interested!

Sex & Dating with Mike Brown the REMIX

Dear Mike,

I recently turned 21 and have been hitting the bars  with my friends from home. A couple of guys have asked me for my phone number. I have known them through other friends, so they have been acquaintances, but I never know if I am supposed to oblige and give them my digits, or turn them down right away if I don't think I am interested.

Are there rules for the exchange of phone numbers? Should I just lie and say I have a boyfriend? Or, should I give each guy a chance? I mean, it takes a lot of guts to start talking to a girl and feel comfortable asking for her number. I want to give the guys some credit!  

Back in my "can I have yo' number"* days, I dreaded rejection. I would diligently contemplate the perfect opener, muster enough courage to approach my target, and would hope that the following dialogue would lead to a number exchange.

Sadly, it wouldn't work out. Often, she was into me but she "had a boyfriend." Or in the few brutally honest cases, she was "not interested in getting to know me. Sorry."  In the rare instances where I would get her number, it would end up being the rejection hotline. My career highlight: Yum Yum Chinese in downtown Newark. Ouch.

But I, like other men, realize that we're not guaranteed a woman's number simply because we ask for it. If that was the case, we'd just ask for sex.

When giving out your phone number, there are no rules: you make the call. Are you interested in the potential suitor? Do you want him to call you? That's really all it boils down to. And, there's always the option of getting his number.

Indeed, it takes guts for a guy to strike up a conversation with a lovely woman, but it takes more than guts to get the digits.

*No, I wasn't just like this guy, but the premise is the same: randomly asking for a phone number.