Help, I'm Too Shy To Ask Out My Crush!

I'm a sophomore in college, and have always been shy around guys. I've only had one boyfriend, and were only together for about three months my junior year of high school. I thought once I came to college, I'd be able to talk to guys without being so self-conscious, but it hasn't happened that way at all.

Now I'm crushing on this guy in one of my classes. I can't stop thinking about him. I think he'd be perfect for me. We've only talked a handful of times, usually him asking me about class stuff, but I think maybe he might be interested in me too. I really want him to ask me out, but so far, nothing. I'm thinking of making the first move, but I've never done that before and the idea of doing it makes me feel sick. How do I do this?

Dear Shy Sophomore,

Originally, I planned on responding with “making the first move is like a giving your first speech: ‘picture him naked.’” Yet after reading that you’ve only had one 3-month relationship (three years ago, I might add), I think the issue is dealing with being shy, not necessarily approaching your crush.

It might be hard to believe but I, too, was very shy when it came to the opposite sex. I never had any problems talking to girls – and girls never had problems putting me in the friend zone. All the attractive, intelligent platonic women I had as friends unfortunately had attractive, outgoing men as boyfriends.

It wasn’t until in college that I mustered enough courage to approach my first girlfriend. What prompted my newfound boldness? Life.

Life is too short to be shy. If you did make the first move and asked him out, the worst he could say is no. It’s not about making the first move, it’s about not being afraid of it. Now, this doesn’t mean you should run around campus asking guys out all willy-nilly. Realize that you have that option of making the first move, although you don’t need to.

Plus, I’m pretty sure your classmate wouldn't mind discussing matter not on the syllabus. After all, that bold conversation with my first girlfriend was about class.