Best of College Blogger Advice: Are Hook-up Buddies Healthy?


A fan of committed relationships, I have barely been single since I first set foot in high school hallways. However, I did watch my friends engage in many single-gal-only escapades, like casually dating three guys at once and kissing at least three others on any given night out. But there was always one part of single-dom I seriously envied: the friend with benefits.

There were tons of hot guys that went to my high school. There are even more hot guys that go to my university. I’m also friends with more guys than girls (not really by choice, but I do get along much better with the dudes!) In fact, my current relationship spawned from a 6-month flirty-friendship. But in those six months, we never crossed the line. Not even a sloppy good night peck on the cheek. Nada.

My roommate, however, was not exactly shy about giving anybody (strangers included!) a little late-night lovin’. She once mentioned having a crush on one of our mutual friends. The next morning, I found him under her covers.

For weeks the two spent time together, but mostly just in his or her bed. They never claimed they were in love or even that they wanted a relationship with each other. They were definitely attracted to one another, but it seemed as though neither had a strong desire for anything but an occasional booty call after a night out.

Surprisingly, the whole incident didn’t have a horrible ending. The two friends split ways after a few weeks and eventually found new lovers. They don’t refuse to hang out with each other. They don’t even avoid each other when we’re all out together. In fact, they talk. And laugh. And joke. Like normal friends.

Although their situation may be out of the ordinary, I’d like to believe that the friends with benefits situation really can work out. Both partners need to know what they’re getting themselves into. If there are no underlying crush-y feelings from either person, I think that both partners can be satisfied with Mr. (or Ms.) Right Now while waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right.

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