Does Your Guy Friend Want to Be Your Boyfriend?

It’s another day, and classes have been out for two weeks. On my day off, I decide to go online for an insane amount of hours, chat with friends, and check my MySpace and Facebook accounts when suddenly, I get an Instant Message from him. And no, him isn’t the wonderful guy I’ve been dating for a few months with the enchanting foreign accent or the cute guy from one of my classes who I never had the courage to speak to. No, he’s one of those guys I’m just not into! 

Now, there tend to be two types: the one who is only chasing you for one reason (the guy above) and the other type is “the nice guy” (maybe too nice), who is respectful and sensitive.

Let’s not kid ourselves, dating in college IS difficult and overwhelmingly confusing. It’s even more confusing when we get all this attention from a guy yet there is no chemistry – sometimes life feels like an incredibly cruel Catch 22. A few summers ago I had a guy friend. He was nice, we had good conversations, he listened to my problems and unlike many guy “friends” I had at the tender age of nineteen, he didn’t try to hit on me every two seconds. I had a feeling he liked me because he would always text, call, etc.. And a female can just tell when a guy likes them. Also, I had a few hints from mutual friends that he did.  But, I was so infatuated with another guy there was no way I would of ever seen him as more than a friend. I also did something which is a red flag alert she’s not into you, fellas: I would talk to him about other guys!

We talked throughout the summer, but when I returned to college in the fall, I began seeing someone and started to ignore him and be a little mean when I did talk to him. I admit, I was careless with his feelings to try and get him to stop liking me and that was wrong. For awhile we didn’t speak after that. We have patched things up and are friends now, but the point is that I knew at that time it wasn’t right. My mistake was not that I didn't have feelings for him, but the way I handled the situation which ended up hurting his feelings. 

There were many reasons why it would not have worked in my situation. My insatiable desire for the other guy (who was not even worth time looking back) and my lack of romantic feelings towards him, coupled with the fact that he had just come off a bad breakup with a girlfriend--it was just a recipe for pure hell! Unfortunately, many relationships begin this way; someone knows another person likes them and figures that that other person’s interest is enough to sustain the relationship, and that over time they can “grow” to like them. Bad idea.

Sometimes, it’s tempting to give someone a chance. You never know until you try it, right?! Well, don’t confuse a relationship with a science experiment! A giant light bulb should start screaming, “Wait! He’s just not for me!” I’m not holding out for Prince Charming. Despite what Disney movies say, I’m not a princess waiting for the “perfect” man to sweep me off my feet. It’s okay to give a guy a chance, but only if there is a connection.

 Living the single life can leave you feeling pretty lonely, especially when Mr. Wrong is the only man that brings excitement into your love life. But, even if I may like the occasional attention, I deserve to be with someone that I actually like and that guy deserves a girl who actually wants to be with him. So until then, I’ll be waiting impatiently for Mr. Right and refuse to fall for Mr. Right Now!

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