London: A Tale of Princes and Beer Guts

Ruminations

As I sit here in my flat, lounging around in my trekky bottoms and loose-fitting jumper, I enjoy a scone buttered and jammed to perfection. My cup of tea sits half empty on the table adjacent to a tub of diminishing brown sugar squares. I look out onto a view of the Tower Bridge, splendid in its proportions and emanating an imperial charm in its aesthetic grandeur. Below me, the Thames River extends proudly east and west and boasts rowboats, ships, and cruise vessels pierced by the glistening sun. It is a blustery morning in London, but, thankfully, no clouds spread over the pale blue sky. The Guardian sits open on the table in front of me, partially stained from an accident with my tea and opened to Michael Billington's review of the latest theatre triumph. Immersed in my breakfast and newspaper, I scarcely hear the bells of St. Peters Cathedral chime the hour.

London's Crowning Glory

The royal land of crowned monarchs, Harry Potter, and Hugh Grant is just as brilliant as it's cracked out to be. Two months in this sparkling, animated metropolis has given me clues to what makes London such a regal haven. Overwhelming in its enormous square footage and hundreds of cultural venues, the city is surprisingly easily navigable by foot, metro, and of course, immaculate tube. How could any other city be the home of the legendary Beatles, the brilliant Dickens, and the eminent Rubens? I sing a cheerful ode to the land of meat pies, lax dentistry and pub crawling, drunken blokes!

Armed with a camera and a trusty tour guide, everyone should begin their adventure in Westminster, the stately and dignified political center. Most startling is the architectural brilliance of Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament, and the gothic Westminster Abbey. Continue towards Buckingham Palace for the Changing of the Guard at 11:15 AM. Try to make the guards crack a smile, if you dare. As long as you're bathing in British history, go check out the Victoria and Albert Museum, boasting a wonderful collection of decorative and fine arts and the Museum of London, whose all-inclusive collection runs through a century and half of the city's history.

If you weren't quite sure how powerful Britain is take a train to Windsor Castle, whose gigantic fortress and towers douse the site in a grand luster. Don't forget to visit the Tower of London. You're tour guide will reveal all the ghastly murders of heretics committed inside its walls. If this was a little too dismal for your tastes, head over to Kensington Palace State Apartments. You will be taken aback by the stunning Royal Ceremonial Dress Collection.

Get Me a Bite to Eat and a Pint, you Bugger

If you're starting to snooze from this babble about touristy sites, knock up while I mention the wonderful food and drink scene. Wait, London has good food? Is that what you just heard? How could lumpy, tasteless mashed potatoes with a side of liver be appetizing? Luckily, for current London visitors, the city has greatly improved its culinary scene. Sure, you can get the traditional fish and chips or a beef and mushroom pie at a London pub, but be sure to check out how London does Indian, Thai, Italian, and French. Favorite chains include Wagamama, a delicious noodle restaurant that goes fantastically with a side of "saki bombing," and Pizza Express, a much tastier, but slightly pricier California Pizza Kitchen. Just in case you wanted to gain a few (or twenty) pounds while you were abroad, stock up on pastries at the numerous patisseries dotting the city.

But wait, it doesn't end there! Head out on the weekend to a large, overcrowded food market where you can buy fresh fruits and vegetables, pre-made sandwiches, quiches, pies, and pastries. It's worth it to snake your way through the crowds in Borough and Portobello Market where you can enjoy an enormous brownie or taste test various types of cheese free of charge. These markets boast fabulous organic fare and homemade desserts.

If you're going for a scene a lot less crowded where you can sit down and eat in pomp and luxury, head over to a department store, hotel, or restaurant that offers afternoon tea. Some of these establishments have formal dress codes and can be a bit too pricey, such as the Ritz and the Dorchester. A less expensive alternative is The Orangery located in Kensington. If you think tea means just a cup and saucer, think again. Transport yourself back to Victorian times and indulge your appetite in the same way as Jane Austen's beautiful and charming leading ladies. Be careful to be graceful and elegant as you pour your tea. Your ravenous American appetite will likely cause you to impatiently devour the mini sandwiches, raisin scones, and pastries, but it will leave you surprisingly full.

And finally, to move on to, well, less dignified drinking, we have come to the lively, vigorous pub scene. Scarcely will you be able to walk a block without hitting at least one British pub. Crowded with a middle aged after-work scene or college-age students, these smoky local joints boast wooden tables and beers on tap. One of the best drinks that you can't procure back in the States is Strongbow, a cider which tastes like a mix of juice and champagne. You might even decide to "crawl" from one pub to the next along a crowded street, getting a pint at each until you can't see straight. But be sure to hit the scene early as pubs close at 11:00 PM.

Romeo, O Romeo, Where Art Thou Romeo?

Bloated with pride for Shakespeare and the numerous other writers and artists that boast it their hometown, London dutifully pays homage to its creative luminaries. Enjoy a tour of Shakespeare's reconstructed Globe Theater and even partake in an authentic Shakespearian theatre experience as you stand for the whole length of A Midsummer Night's Dream. It's also worth it to see a modern rendition of a Shakespeare play check out Richard II starring Kevin Spacey at the Old Vic Theatre. While you're at it, visit the Dickens House Museum and Keats House. Or simply discover the winding alleyways and dark, foggy atmosphere that provided the backdrop for works by the likes of Gaskell and Bronte.

Shakespeare does not make up the entire theatre scene. In fact, London is brimming with fabulous dramas and musicals. Catch Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Woman in White or enjoy Gregory Burke's thoroughly modern creation On Tour at the National Theater, which features many up and coming playwrights. If you're in the mood for an opera or ballet, head towards the Royal Opera House in Convent Garden to catch Madame Butterfly or The Nutcracker before the season ends. Top-notch British talent makes for performances that can be both precious and moving.

If I were to begin to list the art museums contained in the bounds of this capital city, it might run the risk of sounding like your grocery list after failing to food shop for a few weeks. The large amount of museums and galleries include everything from Ancient art to Modern masterpieces. Discover paintings from the 13th to the 20th centuries in the eminent National Gallery that presides over Trafalgar Square or see an extraordinary modern collection at the Tate Modern, just over Millennium Bridge.

Ruminations Continued

As I put aside the review of the newest adaptation of Ibsen's Pillars of the Community, I ruminate on my schedule for the day, which I already know by heart. First on my list is reading my assigned Wordsworth and Coleridge poetry in Hyde Park where I can grab an earful of a speech at Speaker's Corner and enjoy a game of local football. My reward for finishing my reading is a trip to the Chocolate Bar at Harrods and then a shopping excursion in Covent Garden. I take one last gulp of tea and place all my rubbish in the dustbin. Sliding on my trainers and pashmina, I hurriedly make my way out the door.