Hot Topic: The Male Brain: More Complex, Less Horny Than Previously Revealed

How many times have women dished about men, remaining perpetually perplexed (not to mention upset) about their seemingly sex-crazed, one-track minds? Whether consoling a friend with a cheating boy, or crying about how hard it is to get a guy to commit, most women are under the impression (especially in college) that the average guy is always thinking about sex and always on the hunt for it, regardless of his relationship status. What’s the truth to this stereotype?

According to neuropsychiatrist Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of the new book The Male Brain, there is a kernel of truth to the stereotype: there’s no doubt the male brain is thinking about and looking for sex, but it’s “also very much seeking and looking for partnership and for choosing ‘the one,’” Dr. Brizendine told TIME in a recent interview. Dr. Brizendine says the biggest misunderstanding women have about men is that all they want is sex.

The male brain, according to her new book, is more complex than previously believed. Amongst the revelations in the book is the connection for men between sex and love, the genetics that play a role in infidelity, how men and women perceive emotions differently, and how men develop “daddy-brains” while their partner is pregnant.

Despite what you may have learned from college hookups, love and sex are linked in the male brain, insists Dr. Brizendine. When a male experiences sex and orgasm with a woman, the reward system in his brain tells him to do it again with that woman, and as he’s continually pushed by his brain to seek out that gal for repeat performances, the love circuits and sex circuits gradually bond together. The sexual part of the experience becomes more and more attached to that particular female and she’s identified as “the one” by his brain.

Some men –some but not most– don’t have this reaction and Dr. Brizendine believes genetics might play a role in their aversion to commitment.  Research has found that the length of a man’s vasopressin receptor gene is often times linked to his success in monogamous relationships. Several studies have shown that males with longer versions of the gene are more likely to be happily married, while those with shorter genes are more likely to stay bachelors.

Bottom line? Cut your boyfriend some slack and realize that your brains really don’t differ as much as society would have you think. Most likely, you’ve snagged yourself a guy with a long vasopressin receptor gene, so don’t fret so much when he goes out on the town with the boys. After all, he's already been hardwired to come back to YOU at the end of the night.

-- By Ali Straka, University of Missouri