Book Review: He’s Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

He’s Just Not That Into You

Unrequited love sucks. Perhaps this is why we make so many excuses as to why our love is actually being returned. Does it matter that the return is so subtle that it’s at the point of non-existence?

Yes.

Greg Behrendt, a consultant for Sex and the City, would simply say, “He’s just not that into you.” He would say that in fact, your love is unrequited. Now find a love that is.

This quirky, laugh-out-loud book explores common excuses women fall into when a guy is clearly not into them. Greg’s replies include, “He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out, if he’s not calling you, if he’s going out with someone else, and if he’s breaking up with you.” There is something profound in such obviousness. Your situation is always going to be more complicated, but the conclusion that he’s just not into you will remain very simple.

Of course the realization of indifference is more of the problem than the solution. It doesn’t exactly feel wonderful to know that you’ve been pining away for someone who hasn’t given you a second thought. It isn’t much better when you think your new crush isn’t a beast, but then realize he is indeed a beast, because he doesn’t care for you.

I Know He’s Not Into Me, But . . .

This is where Liz Tuccillo, executive story editor of Sex and the City, comes in. After every chapter of Greg’s blunt and witty remarks, Liz explains why it is still difficult to hear him out. She is the reader going, “Yes, I agree I deserve more, but have you tried being single?” The notion that if the guy likes you, he will pursue you can still be difficult to swallow. Sometimes Greg gives the impression that all women can do is wait for the guy to come to you.

The conversation that develops between Liz and Greg is one that is worthy of being read. Since both authors worked on Sex and the City, every line is funny and fabulous. The tone of the book is perhaps too light-hearted; at points, Greg’s commentary can seem needlessly callous. However, there is always Liz being a little more willing to understand that for some women, even an ogre is difficult to let go of.

Ultimately, one cannot get over someone by simply reading a book, but He’s Just Not That Into You helps a woman remember why she really shouldn’t be that into him either.

The book validates women’s worth, and provides company for those in dating misery. Greg’s final point is that you should not waste time on someone who is not spending any time on you. He’s Just Not That Into You could have easily been entitled He’s Not Worth It.

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