UChic Abroad: Last-Minute Thoughts Before Departure

As I sit on my flight from San Francisco to Florence, Italy, I feel numb. I mean, literally, numb. For months I have planned this four-month program, preparing myself for the language barrier and how to deal with unexpected situations. Nothing has prepared me for saying goodbye to my boyfriend, my family and American culture. I grew up in Los Gatos, California, a small, affluent community nestled in a valley of the Bay Area.

Leaving for college to Oregon, only one state and three freeways away, I surprised myself with how well I handled leaving home. I have never been homesick and never shed a tear because I unbearably missed my parents and sisters.

But this is an entirely different feeling: I have to think about the details so much more. How my layover in a German airport will pan out, if a cab will be available at the local Florence airport, if my apartment roommates or someone else will greet me with a key. It's a bit more nerve-wracking than I expected. And I have traveled twice before to Europe and Italy, both with groups, so I anticipated that I had the traveling expertise conquered. But when it comes to internationally traveling solo, I am a novice.   

My friend, Lydia, who has already been studying abroad for some time now, recently e-mailed to tell me that "I am not numb. I just have too many emotions to comprehend." This may be a better way to describe myself as I doze on my packed plane, dreaming of when I come home in July. Wait…dreaming of when I come home? Isn't that a bad sign? Well, I think it shows my vulnerability right now. Anything can happen throughout the next four months, much that I have little control over.  

Many would say that this is the excitement for studying abroad. Sometimes I wish I chose a traditional study abroad program, not an internship. I will be interning at an Italian weekly magazine, where I will encounter and embrace challenges in a professional work environment (though many have informed me that the Italian work ethic differs slightly from America's overzealousness), struggle with the language barrier (I am by no means fluent) and ideally, grow as a writer and individual. This experience will bypass any leap from my comfort zone ever taken.  

But these opportunities provide students with so much personal, educational and cultural enrichment. As our society becomes more globalized every minute, I aspire to gain real-world global experience that may become critical for a resume one day. The hardest part of leaving was leaving behind my life at school: my friends, my boyfriend and my job.

As my nervousness escalated yesterday, my dad asked, "Lin, didn't you know this day was coming?" I sat silently. I think a part of me didn't realize that it would be difficult. I deem myself Miss Independent who doesn’t need her boyfriend, or anyone for that matter, even when that person is my backbone. I cannot seem to acknowledge that though I am not dependent on my boyfriend, everything we do affects each other. So, of course a four-month separation after two years of dating is difficult. Together we will have to learn and revel in the experience, because it's only distance that separates us.

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