Summer Chic Lit: Diary of a Breakup, Chapter 4

Want to get caught up on past entries in Jade's diary? Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2 and Chapter 3.

Dear Diary,

Now I realize why I wanted to give you a name. At this point you are my only friend, or at the very least the only friend that I can trust. Since I have moved back home I have not been in contact with anyone from my old crew in New York, so I was ecstatic when I saw the text from Denise.

In high school we were the best of friends. We went everywhere together and did every thing. We told everyone that we were cousins. Once we graduated, we both worked as waitresses to save money for school. But when we started college, we grew apart. I thought we were going to go to school together, but she always loved the West Coast and went to USC. Our freshman year we tried to stay in touch, she more than I. I had Justin, why would I need friends? Justin and I spent everyday together and I loved it. Eventually, Denise and I acquired new friends and drifted apart completely except for the occasional email and phone call.

We decided that we would go to dinner and a movie. Denise had invited a few more girls we had gone to high school with for a real girl’s night out. Denise had kept in contact with them. I really hadn’t kept in touch with them, but there is no time like the present to rebuild old bonds. We started out the night at Red Lobster--thank God we didn’t have to wait for a table. Once we were all seated, I felt like I had been facing the tribunal. All of them were looking at me and I swear each one of them was raising their right eyebrow at me. It was if they were saying to me “we know something is wrong. You haven’t been back in Jersey or spoken with us in almost three years…spill it.” So I did. Over drinks I told them the story of my break up with Justin.

Justin and I were electric, but we constantly argued. Our weeks consisted of three good days and four bad days. We argued over the fact that Justin wanted an old fashioned woman who cooked and cleaned. I’m not that type of woman. I feel like a man and a woman should share in the household chores unless I am going to stay at home all day. We argued over all the female friends that liked to cling over Justin. Of course when I said something about it, he got angry and said that I didn’t trust him. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, I didn’t trust those skanks.

We argued over how I would disappear when I got angry. Most of all, we argued about money, which should have been the least of our troubles. His father founded and is CEO of a huge company in Georgia. He grew up very privileged, but he was so tight with money you would have thought he needed a college scholarship. Justin thought I spent my money frivolously, but I’m young and besides his family has enough money for his kids and his grandchildren. Somehow Justin never looked at his family fortune as his and that bothered me.

Where I come from, a family shares in their successes as well as their failures. Looking back now, I guess Justin wanted to live like all the rest of us working class folks and I wanted to have the life that he had access to. That was not the reason I got with him, I didn’t know until months after we started our relationship how wealthy his family was. His father could have been a bus driver and I still would have thought that Justin was the one for me. I just thought I had found the man of my dreams in all aspects, and the money didn’t hurt either.

Arguing and making up was our routine, it was just the way we were. As close as we were, the relationship was always on shaky ground due to the arguing and the fact we were both very stubborn. Although we never appeared that way in public; to the outside eyes we had everything going on. On campus we were the equivalent a Jay-Z and Beyonce or Posh Spice and David Beckham. We were the hot couple and that is how we wanted to keep it. We didn’t want anyone knowing us completely until last year, when we became part of a group of seven people.

We called ourselves the Magnificent Seven because that is what we thought we were. We were a group of four girls and three guys. We all got good grades, partied, and ate together. We were a regular family and there were hardly any outsiders invited, we were very exclusive. Some how our apartment became home base for everyone and at first it was awesome. We would lay out blankets and sleep on the floor. It was the most communal experience I was ever involved in. I had three new girlfriends that I had called my sisters. I have an older brother, but I had always longed for a sister. Once we all got close I realized that I had missed having close girlfriends. I had forsaken all my friends for Justin, a silly but common thing that people do when they are in love.

My girls and I did everything together. We went shopping, bought groceries, and went out specifically to flirt with guys. I confided in them about everything, especially about the intimate details of my relationship with Justin. I realize now that it was a mistake to be so open. Looking back now I think we got too close too fast. Sometimes all that togetherness can cause havoc, the partying began to overshadow everything else. We were drinking everyday as oppose to just on the weekends. Our grades started to slip. I began to feel drained. Justin and I began to argue more and the arguments became more volatile. I was spending my money and his money on the group and he was furious. Still, we pressed on with our sophomoric daily ritual.

I began to notice that Justin started spending a lot of time with Michelle, one of the girls in the group. Both of them started to slowly distance themselves from the group. Tyriq, the guy that Michelle was dating, found it to be suspicious, but everyone else thought that Tyriq was paranoid. Maybe we were all just too drunk to notice anything strange. When we all went to Ft. Lauderdale for spring break, still no one said nothing as Michelle and Justin further distanced themselves. Justin and I hardly had room to breathe. Michelle was around constantly. I didn’t say anything because Michelle had confided in me that she was tired of Tyriq, but did not want to upset the group dynamic. I had convinced myself that Michelle had attached herself to us to avoid being alone with Tyriq.

The week after we got back from spring break all hell broke loose. Tyriq and Michelle had a big blow up about her closeness to Justin. Justin was so offended by the allegation that he and Tyriq almost came to blows. There was a crack in the group, and it never got repaired. Slowly everyone began to distance themselves due to the brewing tension between Justin and Tyriq. Justin and I began to argue over the silliest things like me leaving the cap off the toothpaste. I tried to talk to Skeeter to see where Justin’s head was at, but Skeeter was loyal to his boy. He revealed nothing.

Justin and I were never alone--Michelle was always there. Still, I continued to confide in her, after all she was the one I was closest to. Slowly I began to miss the times when Justin and I were the dynamic duo. I never told him that, I just got increasingly short tempered. I snapped at him for everything. I kept bringing up past issues and he started to confide in Michelle as well. The weekend of Michelle’s birthday was the beginning of our end. The Magnificent Seven didn’t come together for her birthday; by that time everyone had received their fill of the drama. Tyriq decided he was going to spend the weekend with his family. Justin, Michelle, and I pressed on. We were determined to show her a good time.

We partied from Friday until Sunday afternoon. I was tired and decided to go home. Justin and Michelle went to another club. Justin never came home, and he had never done that before. I was furious when I woke up in the morning and realized he stayed out all night with Michelle. When he got home, I jumped all over him. He left and went back to see Michelle. Tyriq called me to see how the weekend went and I told him everything. Tyriq went berserk. Everyone was at each other’s throats. Justin left home and a week later he came back and told me we needed time apart. I moved back home four days later.

The girls looked at me in amazement. Their cynical looks turned to looks of sympathy. “We are here if you need us Jade,” Denise said, “I feel so bad for you. That chick deserves a beatdown.” It felt good to finally tell the story. We ate dinner and had drinks. We never did see the movie. I’m glad I decided to go out with them. Before going to bed I decided to check my emails. Katrina, a member of the Magnificent Seven, sent me a few pictures. They were the most shocking pictures I have seen in a long time. I think I need to go to the bathroom to vomit.

***************

Afrika Brown is a senior at Kean University in New Jersey and has published a book of poetry, Sepia Sapphire.

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