Spa Etiquette for Beginners

Shower first or shower afterwards? Clothed or unclothed? On your stomach or on your back? And what about tipping? Oh, and where do the dirty towels go?

If it is your first time at a spa, these, and other similar questions, are sure to be dancing through your mind. But fear not. There are answers to these issues. And here they are: Your first spa etiquette primer.

Do not be afraid to ask

The first thing to know about your spa experience is that everyone at the spa is there to make your visit pleasant, comfortable and relaxing. No one will laugh or snicker. Nor will anyone think you ignorant or unsophisticated. When in doubt, ask. You can ask the desk clerk, the spa attendant, the masseuse or even the person in the locker next to you.

At a recent visit to the Agora Spa in Stamford, CT, a new facility in the Marriott Hotel, downtown, I found two treatments I had never seen before, the Pumpkin Seed and the treatment. I did not hesitate for a moment. I asked what they were. The description was so complete and inviting that I booked them both. What a delight.

If you feel intimidated, get over it. Leave judgments at the door and relax.

The Basics

For the most part there are few spa rules. These are generally confined to issues of hygiene and cleanliness; things your mother taught you. Here are a few:

• Feet should not be bare. Most spa will provide you with flip-flops or sandals
• Wash and shower before taking any treatment or using facility. Don't do it in your room or at home; use the spa shower.
• Avoid eating in the locker room or treatment areas.
• Dispose of towels in the baskets provided. Do not reuse your own.
• No glass or sharp items should be brought in.
• Keep any cut or wound bandaged

That is it. After that, here are the rules of etiquette:

Rule 1 Wear whatever is comfortable to you

There is no hard and fast rule concerning what to wear. Some prefer to go bare naked, other wear a bathing suit, others cover themselves with the bathrobes most spas provide. Find your comfort level and enjoy.

Rule 2 Always ask

If you are unsure about what any treatment entails, ask. Likewise, if you do not know how to use anything that is there, just let the staff show you. Do not short change yourself and miss any experience out of shyness.

Rule 3 No Men Allowed; Women Keep Out However, .

Most spas are not unisex. While they all cater to both men and women, the general rule is that treatments and lockers and facilities are separate.

That being said, do not be alarmed by some exceptions. Here are but a few:

• Most spas have only one swimming pool. Wear your swimsuit.
• Massages and other body treatments may be given by someone 'opposite'. Treat it as you would your hair stylist or your chiropractor.
• Locker room orderlies may be 'mixed'. Employment discrimination laws must be obeyed.

Which Massage to Take

Each spa facility has its own menu of massage services. They range from therapeutic to relaxation, from deep tissue to surface pampering, and, literally, from head to toe. You can find a massage that specifically deals with an ache or a pain. You can try something spiritual from the East or tribal from the West. There are hot stones, warm water and cold air massages. They are all great, they all work. Here are some suggestions for newcomers.

• Swedish & Japanese Massage These are the traditional body and muscle massages. The masseuse will start on your back and shoulder, then legs; turn you to your chest, thighs and feet, and, finally finish off your head and scalp. For pure relaxation, have it gentle. For therapy, ask for it with deep tissue. And be sure to let the masseuse know where it hurts.
• Hydro Therapy Water is the key. This massage utilizes running water, jets, like a Jacuzzi. The water acts as the massaging agent. It can do thing even the most skilled human cannot.
• raps and Rubs There are many types of specialized massages using body wrapping and herb or similar applications. These massages serve both a relaxing and cleansing function. The body absorbs the applications or is cleansed by them. Hot stones cold air also produce similar results. In either case, the result is a feeling of "newness" and rejuvenation.
• Music, Color & Aromas Many massages focus on sounds and other sensory devices to enhance the experience and to bring relaxation other media. While most massages will be done with soft music in the background, others, are performed with the music as the key ingredient. Color projections and herbal smells also form the basis for a massage. They are relaxing to all, although, some people are more receptive than others. Trying is the only way to find out.

Check out the spa menu at the resort, hotel or cruise ship before you go. You can usually make reservations in advance and spa staff will typically be very helpful in aiding your choice.

And then there is something called: The Couples Massage

Couples is for couples who have already met, formed a bond or found a spark. In couples massage, both people have their massage at the same time, lying side by side on separate massage tables, each with their own, individual masseur. The effect is surprising. Each massage is individual, no doubt. Yet the influence of having someone special there with you produces a new experience. It is like having someone share your dream. It can be magical or mystical. And all the while, the other person is having the exact same experience during his or her massage.

Glenn Colarossi, spa designer and operator of the fabulously urban Agora Spa in Stamford, CT, describes the couple massage as "being totally apart, together". He never fails to include a couples massage facility in every spa he designs. "Not everyone is open to this kind of sharing, but I find

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