To Pledge or Not to Pledge....

Ronica,
How do I know if sorority life is right for me? I know I'll need to go through "rush", but I really don't know anything about it. Could you help me to know if going Greek is right for me?
- Unsure

Unsure:
There isn't a quick and easy way to decide if you would enjoy sorority life. Women who have chosen to "go Greek" are diverse and difficult to categorize. While stereotypes exist, you'll find that from university to university and from city to city, the typical sorority girl is never the same. I never thought I would enjoy sorority life, but one of my roommates was so excited about the process that I decided to call the Panhellenic office just a few days before rush to sign up, back then I had no idea that my sorority memories would one day be some of the most meaningful from my college career!

What is rush? Rush is a mutual selection process that usually lasts for about 1 to 2 weeks, depending on the size of the Greek community on your campus. The first step will be fairly lengthy you will likely visit all of the sororities on your campus to get a general feel for each. Make sure to put any house-stereotypes out of your mind. You'll find that many of the rumors are false, and you want to make your decision based on the house that truly fits your personality. Choosing a house based on reputation, rather than a genuine connection is a big mistake that many make. You need to realize that the house you choose will play a significant role in your collegiate future. If you are not honestly representing yourself, it will be very difficult and unsatisfying to continue to hide who you truly are for the rest of your time in that sorority.

Once you visit all of the houses in the first round of rush, you will be asked to choose the houses you liked the most and eliminate several. At the same time, the sororities will compile lists of potential members they would like to have return. If your choices match you will visit again for a second round. This mutual elimination process will continue until you have only two houses to visit. This final round is known as preference and will last longer than the previous rounds. After this round, you will choose your first and second house, while the sororities create a bid-list. If you are on the bid-list of a house you chose, you will receive a bid and begin pledging, this is where things get a little interesting,

Rush Secret: Rush is like a job interview just as you present your best self to a potential employer, you also want to present your best self to a potential sorority. Always be on-time to a rush event, look your best, and never chew gum. Avoid politics, sex and religion in conversation. Don't be afraid of the women you are meeting, and feel confident in what you can bring to the sorority. A sense of humor and a good attitude about the lengthy rush process are also a plus.

What is pledging going to be like? Pledging is going to vary greatly from house to house and campus to campus. Some campuses will have more strict regulations than others, which will attempt to exclude hazing activities from the pledging process. However, hazing can be difficult to control because most events are kept secret, so many never discuss the details of their annual 7 week initiation period. While it may seem overwhelming, it should ideally be a great experience. This is a time to develop the strongest bonds between pledges and find mentors in older sisters. Unfortunately, some houses take this process too seriously, and will ask you to sacrifice your academics, your dignity, and many times, your sanity. I witnessed friends appear to "lose their minds" during the pledging process: throwing grades, self-respect, and sisterhood out the window. This I, of course, do not support. Nothing no group, no title, no level of popularity is worth compromising who you are and what you believe in. I would strongly encourage any young woman to leave a sorority, if during the pledging process she were asked to participate in any act against her will. If this happens to you, do not look at yourself as a quitter; rather consider yourself a leader and an individual with the courage to stand up for what is important to you. All this being said, I hope I have not scared you away! The pledging process can, and will likely be, a wonderful experience with appropriate challenges that will help you to grow as a person and sister!

Pledging Secret: If you are asked to do something that you do not feel comfortable doing during the pledging process, you might not have to quit to avoid the event. Find strength in numbers and gather your fellow pledges together to boycott an event that is unfair or unreasonable. Your friendship and trust will grow within your pledge class and you'll also make a major impression on the rest of the sisters.

What happens during initiation? I can't tell you! Once you have made it through the pledging process, you will be invited to become a sister in the sorority. For this to occur, you will be initiated. During this process, you will be told the secret history, tradition and ritual surrounding your sorority. It may sound a bit silly, but its fun to be a part of something that only you and your sisters share!

Initiation Secret: Don't be surprised by religious references during the initiation, even if you are not joining a religious-based sorority. Many sororities and fraternities began with a religious component, but have since changed their purpose. These pieces of the initiation are simply kept for tradition and are not meant to make you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome if you do not follow the faith.

What happens once I am a sister? This is where the fun really begins. A sorority will impact your life in so many ways. You will transform during your years in college, and it is wonderful to have a group of women to grow and change with. As I became an alumna in my sorority (Sigma Kappa, for those of you who are wondering), I couldn't help but look at the women around me who I had pledged with and feel a great sense of pride and love for each and every one of them. We had gone through so much together and I felt truly lucky to be able to not only look at them as friends, but also as sisters.

Sisterhood Secret: Get involved! Executive office is an obvious way to participate, but remember that there are so many components to running a successful sorority. Offer to take on smaller responsibilities that will allow you to continue to contribute to the group, if running for president or vice president is not for you.

Some of this might not make sense to you right now. Its one of those things you have to go through before you completely understand the experience. Ultimately, I would say that everyone should at least go to the first few rounds of rush to see if you make a connection with any of the potential sororities. As long as you don't take the process too seriously and are honest with yourself, I know you will be glad you gave it a try.

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