Project Runway Recap: Bride Wars

This week’s Project Runway challenge had the models taking a backseat to nine divorced women who were looking to recycle their former white wedding dresses in favor of something hot and sexy. Well, it was obvious from the start that Irina’s ego more than made up for the lack of new fabric the designers were allowed to buy. Since she won the last challenge, this pint-sized diva went straight for the kill, snagging the dress with the most material to work with. All the other designers followed suit, with Shirin getting last pick — and the least amount of fabric to work with. But that was just the beginning…

See, real women aren’t hangers, so they all had opinions on what they wanted (how dare they!). Logan’s model wanted pants, Gordana’s wanted a punk rock look, and poor Shirin’s model was totally off-the-hook. You’d think this sista had tranny aspirations, what with her request for a “Cher outfit” complete with peacock feathers and a dress cut up to her arse. Well the crew soldiered on, with Gordana coming out strong, Epperson looking confused, and Shirin having a mini breakdown in front of Tim. Ever the life coach, Dr. Gunn counseled her to rear her model in and reminded her it didn’t matter what this former wife wanted — she wasn’t the one in danger of being voted off.

It was becoming pretty obvious who was going to be in trouble. Christopher’s bubble dress was looking like a Jiffy Pop container, Logan’s use of heavy materials wasn’t winning any votes, and Epperson seemed so out of his element – he later admitted he wasn’t sure what the challenge was! When runway time finally rolled around, there were suprises to be had as soon as the ladies hit the catwalk. Nicholas (our pick for obvious elemination) made it through unscathed, along with Carol Hannah and Althea, while Gordana (who heeded the judge’s last critique and didn’t play it safe), Shirin (who went with her gut and not her model’s vision), and Irinia fell into the top three. This left Logan, Christopher, and Epperson barely staying afloat in the bottom slots.

Now this is where we lose out shiznit and declare shenigans on the judges’ voting. Heidi called Logan and Epperson out for creating “Oktoberfest” outfits, and Michael Kors basically scolded Chritsopher for his “space dress,” insisting that as an actress, his model wouldn’t get any jobs if she wore that hideous frock to any insdustry parties. Random Marie Claire judge (if it’s not Nina Garcia we don’t care) and Jimmy Choo founder, Tamara Mellon were in agreement, but here’s where it gets sketchy. After this many seasons of Project Runway, we’ve become hip to the way the judges vote. Logan is too pretty to kick off, plus he’s never been in the bottom three. Christopher (who SHOULD have been kicked off) is the underdog with no formal training, plus he’s won before, which leaves poor Epperson as this week’s sacraficial lamb. Nevermind that the minorites on the show are getting canned right and left: When it comes right down to it, Epperson’s older aesthetic just didn’t fit the vision of the average PR winner.

Well true to form, off went Epperson, with Gordana snagging this week’s win (we think Irina deserved to win, but then again, she DID have the most fabric, so maybe that worked against her). No crying this time around, but we’re sure there will at least a few tears next week. If we were Nicholas or Christopher, we’d maybe thing about packing up our workspace now just to save time and tears.

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